Sunday, April 12, 2015

Day 11: What Have I Been Reading? 5 Books Everyone Should Read

 I read 3 books to my 4 year old each night. So you might say my current reading includes, Is There a Dog in This Book? The Baby Trap and Pete the Cat Saves Easter. As a kindergarten teacher I realize daily reading is SO important for kiddos to understand speech, vocabulary, and literacy skills in general. READ! READ! READ! (at least to kids if no one else).

Personally, my last read was, If I Can't Have you: The Susan Powell Story. So sad and tragic. I felt kinship in that I believe my ex is a sociopath, unable to take responsibility or empathize. And in the end, that is truly what Susan Powell had: a sociopathic spouse. We, as women, need to recognize the signs of a unhealthy relationship.

I speak from experience...After what happened to me, and to my family, I felt the need to understand why. And that is what has led me to read several great books including Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft.
And Psychopath Free by Peace. Yes a pseudonym. As what we go through is embarrassing and we don't want everyone to know. (I started an anonymous blog to help me at the time-AnonyMrs)
And then The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize and How to Respond by Patricia Evans. Remember: VAR's are not just with partners, but anyone we deal with in life--family members, co-workers, friends. It's a real and prevalent problem.

These 3 books were the most helpful to me (and actually a great read for anyone). Understanding what is verbal abuse and how to respond is monumental. For our own health and well being, as a population we need to recognize and identify these toxic behaviors.

After reading these I felt so much better. Things made sense. I understood so much more. And yet I found myself in a dilemma of being, "a good girl." In a sense of, "I can't say THAT, because that wouldn't be NICE." It is something women can get stuck in...if we are assertive, we are a witch, and if not, we are nice. Not good. And so I recommend Civilized Assertiveness for Women: Communication with Backbone not Bite by Judith Selee McClure.
It's OK to be assertive. It doesn't mean you are a witch, it means what is happening is not OK with you.

Well, there you go friends. I started this blog post a few nights ago without knowing where to take it. And then it hit me: I have a lot of good information to share, just like someone shared with me one time. And it's my turn to Pay it Forward.


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