Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Honesty as the End of Summer Approaches...

I'm not ready...I'm not...I'm seeing kids all over my Facebook and Twitter and Instagram accounts heading back to school and I'm not the least bit excited. I'm being honest. At this point, from this place on my couch, in my jams, hair and makeup not done, I am not excited.

Can we be honest? I just got back from an amazing vacation in California with family and friends. I got to visit a friend I hadn't seen in 15 years and spend time at her home (at the beach, insert jealousy here). I got to see and spend time with my amazing grandma who is 94, although the time was interspersed by thoughts of how quickly life ends, and wishes I could be see her more often, it was still a wonderful time. The sights and smells of her home bring nothing but happy memories of a childhood passed, a childhood remembered, a childhood wished for. Yet time cannot be stopped.

We spent two nights and 3 days at Disneyland where time seems to move in fast forward and slow motion all at the same time. Time spent in the hotel pool and on the water slides is always one of the best parts of the trip. Nothing beats floating in the water while the sun shines from above. Twisting and turning in the spiral water slide, with no thoughts except to hold your breath before you hit the bottom. Reality, for a few days, ceases to exist. There are no deadlines, no bills, no problems. Life is sunshine and rainbows. My daughter asks me why we cannot live there permanently and I explain the complex topic of bills, work, and vacation time...even though I secretly wish the same.

And so I think coming back to reality was, in some ways, a let down. A bell ringing for the end of summer. A reminder of the cold weather to come and the long days working ahead. And so I sit, like a stubborn child, refusing to comply. The rest of summer is mine, I whisper, and I'm holding on to it.

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